Bill Holmes - Activities - Women - Disappointments

For those contemplating the resumption of a past relationship, I hope it's not a "Rose Parade affair."  In case you have not heard of that phrase, it originated as "Rose Parade buyers" among San Diego Realtors as a description of those living on the East coast who watched the Rose Parade on TV, and decided to move to sunny California.  After one to three years in California missing the seasons and fall trees, they'd move back to the east coast.  After their first winter, they moved back to California - permanently.  The Realtors made a commission on each buy-sell-buy sequence.

Later the sequence was applied to male-female relationships as "Rose Parade affairs."  People complain about their mate, separate, complain about missing them, get back together, but can stay on their best behavior for at most a year.  Winter happens, and they permanently separate.

Unless you distinguish between reality and your story about it, you cannot reason your way out of your self-imposed purgatory.  You just have to go through the experience doing the same thing over again while expecting a different result until realty smacks you in the face.

Knowing this, I encouraged a woman I really cared about to follow her love even though it was clear he didn't love her.  When I was married, she had a crush on me, her boss.  When I was divorced, Deb had a crush on Tom.  After Tom left, I invited Deb to travel Europe with me after my business duties there were complete to help her forget Tom.  We occasionally shared a bed to cut costs, but were never intimate, because she still pined for Tom.  I encouraged her to move from San Diego to Seattle to be close to Tom.  I visited her there once.  She was all tears, but still hanging in for Tom.

On domestic business trips we'd meet to hike Mt. Rainier and surrounds.  On the way to one such trip, I stopped in San Luis Obispo to have lunch with Karen (my first true love) at the airport.  During lunch I slid my hand across the table until our finger tips touched.  She was visibly shaken, but increased the contact.  When I walked her to her car, she gave me a passionate kiss and pressed her body onto mine, then jumped in her car, and drove home to her husband and three children.  I was unaware at the time of the abuse she was suffering.

Stoked about the experience with Karen, I related it to Deb as we undressed for another shared bed.  This time instead of flannel pajamas she wore a red bra and panties.  She had planned this to be an intimate night, but my experience with Karen ruined it.

While I was living with Mary in Escondido, I took a friend on a road trip through Arizona, New Mexico and Utah after his beloved wife died of cancer.  After I dropped him at his home near Salt Lake City, I continued the road trip northwest.  When I found myself in Idaho, I called Deb to learn if she wanted to meet.  She had company, but said he would be gone by the time I reached Seattle.  She encouraged me to come, and I agreed.  The next day I studied the maps and realized including Seattle would increase my drive by over three days, then Mary called wondering where I was, so I declined the visit with Deb -- big mistake.

Deb eventually gave up on Tom, and married an old workmate and friend from St. Luis who had always pined for her.  They live happily together in Albuquerque, New Mexico, and we remain friends.

After I learned of Karen's divorce, I left Mary, and moved to Palmdale to help my sister and brother-in-law, and be within a few hours of Karen.  Mary found a VISA receipt for flowers I sent to Karen before leaving, somehow managed to learn Karen's telephone number, and caused problem's for Karen that ruined my chances with her.

I'm accustomed to having my love disappointed.